Mental Abuse

Mental abuse includes directly telling the victim they are crazy, or saying or doing things and then denying they were said or done, or moving objects to a different place from where the victim left them, so that the victims think they are losing their mind. Mental abuse is a horribly destructive form of abuse that can have extremely long lasting negative effects on literally every aspect of a person's life. It makes the victim question or doubt their own perceptions and memories and sanity and the long term effect is the victim completely losing trust in their own mind.

I think the denial part of mental abuse is often done without the intent to harm, but this does not make it less harmful if it is done a lot. I experienced some of this in the last year of my marriage; my husband would often deny saying hurtful things instead of taking responsibility for them. I'm sure some of it was him being forgetful and most of it was probably his ego not wanting to admit that he had done wrong. But it still made me question my perceptions until I realized what he was doing. People should be careful about denying things, because it can make the recipient doubt their own perceptions and memories and this is harmful. Remember that "honesty is the best policy."

Among other things I have also experienced two rounds of SEVERE levels of intentional mental abuse. My second oldest sister was at the helm of both of these events. But I feel certain that it was fueled by, if not even instigated by my oldest sister.
   One round happened in the late 1980s, when I was around 27 years old. I started thinking about my childhood and asked family members about a few things. Then my sister told me that my father told her that there was something wrong with me. She eventually had me so convinced that there was something wrong with me, for suddenly thinking of the past and feeling so sad about it, that I marched into a psychologists office and told her that there was something wrong with me, because I was suddenly thinking about my childhood a lot and was "too sensitive"...etc. She set me straight, thank God. She became a wonderful source of help for me. After evaluating me she told me that there was absolutely nothing wrong with me, that in looking back at my childhood and feeling sad I was going through a natural healing process, and that I was NOT "too sensitive" and that I actually should work on being even more sensitive and let myself more fully go through a grieving process. She said that my sister's behaviors were toxic for me and that I should take some time to myself to do some healing work. And every fiber of my heart and soul felt that she was right. She was my saving grace.
   I experienced another round of severe mental abuse after my sister gained access to my email account in 2003, and convinced my father and other family members that I was "insane" and "evil." This was followed by ongoing aims to convince me of this as well. And, although I'd gained a lot of strength in the late 1980s and early 1990s, I went through another period of doubting my own sanity.
   My sister's slandering of my "insanity" in 2003 has also been being used to threaten me; my sister was insinuating that the family will have me imprisoned in an asylum if I do not stay away from my whole family and if I do not remain silent about her abuse. And I believed her because she had convinced my father and other family members that I was insane and had also convinced them that I was just making up things and trying to cause trouble when I tried to tell them what my sisters were doing to me. The last times this threat was issued was in this year of 2023 after I stood up against what my sisters have been doing to our elderly father; in an email, they wrote, "You are a sick individual, and you should be in an insane asylum.." And then, after I told them I was going to officials about them emotionally abusing and isolating our elderly father, they sent me a picture in a text that said, "Voices in the head."
   Unfortunately there is still a real danger of my family uniting to imprisoning me, because BOTH of my sisters are extremely dishonest and manipulative and still have a lot of control in our family and beyond. I keep my distance, in order to retain my sanity and freedom.

Being mentally beaten to the point of doubting our own sanity is a very scary place to be shoved into. No human being should EVER go through this! We need better laws against mental abuse and more awareness of it in all of humanity.

Its also been difficult to experience the scrutinizing my sanity, due to people trying to figure out if I am really insane or not. I should just be considered innocent unless proven guilty, but I haven't been in my family. I have told them the truth, but I think its been hard for them to believe, because of their doubt in my sanity, and also because in believing the truth they have to face the fact that two of their loved ones have behaved in ways that are extremely cruel and evil and criminal, on top of facing the fact that they themselves were manipulated into playing a role in hurting me. I can't blame them for not being able to face it. I had a hard time facing it myself, even though I had help with doing so... I had wished so much that my family situation was the opposite of what it has been, that it was sometimes easier to reach for denial and pretend it was not as bad as it was. But I have recently had some blatant reminders and feel a need to not only finish facing the truth, but to break the silence and fully stand up with it.
   But I still stand alone, separate from my whole family, which became an unsafe place for me in 2003. I doubt that things will ever be fully set right in my family, because the abuse is still happening and has been freely happening for so long that it has had such negative effects on the whole family. This has been extremely painful for me...more than words can express. Losing the trust of the people I love, and them unfairly thinking so badly of me, is one of the most painful things I've ever experienced, if not the most painful. But hopefully sharing my experiences with mental abuse will help other people to not have to go through what I have.